5 Years & a Journey of Healing Later…

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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the day after the 5 year anniversary of my preventative mastectomy I finally posted a video of an original song on YouTube AND wrote on my new blog – a goal I’ve had for MANY years. That surgery changed my life in too many ways to count and it put some life goals on hold. It pulled the rug out from under me while also showing me how capable I am. It made me rely on others and simultaneously made me gain a new level of personal confidence. I will never be able to publicly process every element of hope, struggle, and grit I had to grow and show over the past couple of years as I’ve mentally, emotionally and physically recovered. 

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You Can’t Rush a Sunrise

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You can’t rush a sunrise. That’s what I thought when I watched this unfiltered magnificence the other morning by myself in the stillness of our backyard. The same is true for self-discovery.

I’ve been more of my true introvert-self this summer, focusing on home, family, love (for myself and others) and nurturing just a handful of close relationships. Part of me feels like I’ve missed out on sharing our fun in social media during this break. You might be seeing our porch Easter portraits at the same time as our autumn ones.😂 But that’s OK. That’s what I’ve needed. And as Spock said, “What is necessary is never unwise.”

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I Still Believe

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I used to believe that writing even one sentence at the end of the day was worth it, just to remember the joy I felt or something fun I did or an impression I’d had that gave me hope to keep going.

Then I had some hard days. Oh, SOOO many hard days. Did I say days? I meant months. And years. And some excruciating moments I didn’t want to remember.

So I stopped writing on those days. And soon I stopped writing on other days too. Part of me felt it was a lie to just write about the good times, even though noticing them had helped me stay positive in the past.

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Heaven’s Power is Here for Us

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Isn’t it incredible that even if we don’t have what we long for, heaven does all it can to bless us with POWER according to our pure desires? ♥️

I love the truth that the powers of heaven can be close around me according to my faith, and not because I’m perfect or more special than anyone else – we all can have that blessing because God loves us! ☺️ Maybe I can’t receive a physical hug from my Dad but I’ve felt angelic impressions that he was near. We don’t always have the peace or order I long for in my home, but there are miracle moments when we have more than I would have expected.

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Feeling is Human ♥️

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That was yesterday afternoon.

Below is how how I felt not even 24 hours before.

This is reality for a lot of us. Feeling incredibly “blessed” like my shirt says one moment and discouraged and depleted the next, sometimes for days at a time. This is what it’s like when there are heavy, ongoing challenges in life but also overwhelming goodness around us and on the horizon.

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Real Hope

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Hi there,

I believe fragile can still be beautiful. I believe transparency  and honesty with ourselves is iluminating. I know light brings life. And this morning this amazing quote from “The Infinite Power of Hope” (a regular read and study for me because it’s sooooo good!) brought me peace because I know it’s true: “This type of hope in God, His goodness, and His power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt, and despair.”

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Christ: The Handy Man who Resurrects ALL Things

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Marriage is HARD. SUPER HARD. It’s also WORTH IT. I believe that deeply, which is why we keep working at it. As a couple we’ve been to 7 counselors over nearly 16 years.♥️ Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I know that’s Worry, Anger, or Tiredness speaking. But the Gospel gives me hope. I feel impressions from the Spirit, and I follow them. Once I breathe, pray, remember a scripture or hymn, text a friend, or clear my head with a good cry and reset, I feel Love & Compassion enter my mind again, because we are meant to keep trying. It takes time but the good, goofy times come back, like this unique date.

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