Not sure if he’s banging his head against the wall here or just trying not to fall. He even put one under each foot and tried gliding that way, of course to no avail. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I have no screaming pictures or audio to show how upset he became that he could not skateboard like a “big boy.” I couldn’t take pictures because I had to hold him and comfort him and say those two priceless words everyone needs to hear sometimes, “It’s OK.”
I think everyone has some make-believe ideas we mistakenly think are real, just like Sammy believes his toys are the real deal. Some of mine are “If I parent well enough one of these days my kids won’t fight.” One of these days meaning like, tomorrow…or today even! The sooner the better! Or “If I exercise, eat right, and meditate a little everyday, I won’t have down days.” Nope. Last time I checked, I’m still human.
One of my favorites is probably the pretend, happy, make-believe idea that doing the dishes or the laundry means there won’t be any more to do…ever!!!! Ta-da!!! It’s like magic!! Oh, wait. No, it’s not. Someone just put a new dirty dish in the sink.
If I recognize these ideas are just as fake as plastic toys, I’m much less likely to throw Sammy-style tantrums and pity parties. Of course parenting and trying to teach my kids to solve problems instead of fight over them is worth the effort, but realistically there will be bickering for years to come. It’s part of the learning curve and part of having siblings (or living in close proximity with anyone really.) It doesn’t mean I’m “failing.”
Also, the truth is taking care of myself doesn’t take away all the challenges of life. But I know I face them better than I would if I wasn’t taking care of myself. I know this because of the multiple Otter Pop hangovers I’ve had this week, which I am now going to a support group for. If anyone wants to join me, just let me know. (I hope you know I’m kidding…)
And will there are always more chores to do? A BIG, FAT, YES!! But that doesn’t mean I can’t take a break, ask for help, or even be glad I have people to serve. I know I love feeling needed by people outside my home, so I could try enjoying being needed by my little munchkins too.
So thanks Sammy for giving me the chance to tell you, “It’s OK.” You gave me the chance to think and recognize some make-believe thoughts that were really toying with my reality. And making me feel pretty grumpy. And it is “OK.” The truth is I would take this messy house, fighting kids, sleepy mom reality, over full-size pink convertibles or new furniture or great skate-boarding skills any day. And that’s the truth.
‘Till Tomorrow…if I can get a handle on this packing! Luv, Eva